10 likes and dislikes

Day 2 of the 30 day writing challenge. I know! It's been forever since I last blogged. (A whole year!) But hey life gets busy. I have a demanding, exhausting job in radio but its a job I love. So ya, don't judge me. 

Mycah-Mae is three now! My person is so cute and active. She is very clever and inquisitive. She adores animals and still is very sensitive (shamepies). I love her SO much.

but I digress. This post is about my top ten likes and dislikes, so here we go:

Dislikes

1. Hypocrites, liars and people with no compassion

2. Racist, sexist and homophobic types

3. Watermelon

4. Paying for parking (even though I don't drive)

5. The cost of living in general

6. Being unprepared

7. Cheap nail-polish that chips the same day 

8. Men that cheat for no other reason than 'the chase'

9. Slapstick or dark humour

10. White privilege or any privilege at the expense of another 

Likes

1. Babies. Especially my person 

2. When people skrik. I die everytime. I just can't stop laughing. This is the only slapstick humour I can tolerate

3. Undeserved kindness 

4. Dressing stylishly

5. Well maintained & long natural hair  

6. When promises are kept

7. Nice surprises

8. Compliments that you mean

9. Chai, avo & jelly babies (not at the same time)

10.  Seeing two older people still holding hands or smiling at one another with a shine & twinkle in their eyes after all these years

I'm dumbfounded

She's stubborn.

I think she gets it from me. I'm very determined and I like getting what I want - who doesn't? - but her dad is stubborn too. So of course our child would be doubly stubborn. Mycah-Mae is so intelligent and inquisitive yet manipulative too.  She is an incredible, strong-willed toddler. She scares me sometimes. How she thinks and figures things out. Her fierce determination. Her unusual sense of humour. The fact that she is very sensitive. (She cries so easily. I feel so bad when I've made her sob once again after I've raised my voice after the third 'No'.)

 How do I know if I'm parenting her properly? What If I'm really messing this up? How does a single mother correctly raise - if at all, if ever - a strong-willed child. A child that has attitude and spunk. That gives you a look that skriks vir niks. A child that screams blue murder when she can't get her way leaving you very, very red-faced in front of others who just don't understand. She leaves me dumbfounded a lot.

 I often feel like the worst mother in the world. Its hard parenting her - a real human being with her own thoughts, fears, wants and desires. I'm responsible for how she will turn out. And it all starts now. Moulding her. Guiding her. Correcting, loving, reprimanding, teaching her manners. I don't like spanking her for every little thing but reasoning with her often doesn't work. Ditto for time-outs. I get the feeling that she thinks I'm abandoning her.

I get that she will test her and my boundaries but she is just so small. Still a baby. My baby. And shame she is still learning to talk so of course she struggles with expressing herself leaving us lost in translation.

But still I want need to get this right. For her sake and mine

Resolutions? Not

I'm not making any New Year's Resolutions this year because I never get far with losing that extra 5 kgs or drinking less or whatever. 

Blah! so over that.  This year I've decided to instead focus on some of the goals I have in my life that I hope to accomplish:

1. Complete my BTech with a distinction. Well I am in the process of doing do so: I 've registered for Btech for this year so I've made the move towards getting my degree but keeping my marks above 70 percent is that hard part but what I hope to do.

2. Get my Driver's License. I refuse to write my Learner's License a third time so with it expiring this year I absolutely need to get more comfortable in the Driver's seat and overcome my fear of driving with other people on the road.

3. Improve in my journalism.  I often feel like my writing needs a lot more polishing but I suppose that will come with time and experience and of course writing more - which means I gotta to regularly sit down and blog about some of the thoughts running around in my head.  Get a permanent job in journalism. Write more reviews. Read more autobiographies and non-fiction stories.

4. Join a running club. I like to run but I think sometimes once or twice a week is enough. A daily habit produces results and will help me shed this stubborn 5 kgs. I think that if I join a running club, I'll be forced to put my runners on and get on with it. A personal best in my 10 kays and start training for Two Oceans are some goals I hope to achieve in my running. 

5.  Be better mom.  Spend more one-on-one quality time with my little girl, run around together, give her more undivided attention, get less frustrated and annoyed, display firmness in my discipline but not overtly so, sometimes show some tough love. Love her and love her again.

My little person and I

 

My Mr Price holiday wishlist

Right now I'm into lace, solid colours, flowy fabrics, statement shoes and white. Once again Mr Price is bang on trend. Christmas is six sleeps away!

Fingers crossed that I get some of these...

Facts about Amy

Day 1 of the 30 day writing challenge requires me to write about somethings about myself.

Instead of the usual where I live, what do I do, who am I, I decided to write about some things people don't know about me:

1) I like natural hair

2) Watermelon is a huge no-no for me
3) I enjoy planning outfits in my head
4) 'Men' who beat women irks the hell out of me
5) Ditto for child abuse
6) Coffee starts my day: I adore it!
7) I'm always on the hustle for another pair of shoes

 

8) I love my daughter, boyfriend, parents and family with all my heart
10) Old school music is what I'm about. Although some of the mainstream music today has some sick beats, I prefer You're My World by Cilla Black or The Carpenter's Yesterday over anything Nick Minaj or Justin Bieber makes.
11) I'm double-jointed in my fingers, toes and tongue
12) I can't drive :( But I will get there
13) I like blogging but sometimes it annoys me (shoot me), Pinterest is repetitive, Facebook feels like its going the Myspace route and Twitter is well, twitter
14)  Reading often dominates my life.
15) I like my eyes, toes, legs, hands (I've accepted some other parts I don't like so much because they're going nowhere and I'm in fact healthy
16) Running is my destress

17) I'm sort of allergic to sea water. I break out in small hives after a swim so I can't splash about for too long. I have to rinse myself off before jumping in again.
18) Though it might sound weird to some: I love cleaning and tidying up. I like clean lines and prefer having stuff packed away or in their own compartment. After all that effort you can actually see the effects of your hard work and that feels great.
19) When I want to feel better and have the funds, I go into Mr Price and myself R20 earrings :)
20) I love fruit and I feel cheated if I don't have it in at least one of my meals.

This is me in a nutshell

30 days. One month. 4 weeks.

I've been wanting to do this for awhile and I keep putting it off but eff that, let's do this.

Metanoia

What is Metanoia?

The journey of changing one's mind, heart, self or way of life.

This word describes exactly what I'm going through presently in my life - in almost all aspects.

If I have to start at the top I'd say the biggest change has been to my hair: I finally went ahead and big chopped!

A few days after the Big chop

Now it's been nearly two months since I cut all my hair off to start anew and embrace my God-given kinks, coils and curls and what a journey it has been. (I decided last year that I was going to try the natural route at least once in my life and decided that it would be at some point in my twenties.)

The decision to big chop wasn't my first choice, I actually wanted to transition for quite awhile before going for the BC but things didn't go quite the way I'd planned.


I started transitioning (slowly growing the relaxer out) around November of last year and like with all things in my life once I throw myself into something I give it my all - I stopped blow-drying and flat-ironing, started moisturizing with coconut oil, began co-washing and tried to comb my hair as gently as I could.

The first six months went by with no hassle and then my hair became a tangled mess. My roots were thick and sort of took a life of their own but weirdly were much easier to comb than my parched and much thinner relaxed ends which knotted up all the time. Even wearing my hair in protective styles was simply not working.

So I needed something new. A change. I decided on: bra strap length box braids.

Baby girl posing with her mama :)

When I wore braids

Having thin, small box braids was totally awesome! For the first time in my life I could get up in the morning, have a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, sip some coffee and not give a damn about my hair or what I'd do with it.

It put things in perspective for me. Hair shouldn't ever dominate how you live your life! You shouldn't dread going to the beach or pass up an opportunity to swim in summer because you're terrified your hair is gonna get all kroes. It's just a sin to miss out on such fun because of something so superficial as hair. Really?


I was feeling so good about myself, my hair and the future and I was adamant I was going to go natural come what may up until the point of taking the braids out.

We (my sisters and I) took out each braid out individually slowly and gently but despite those efforts, the braids did my hair no favours.

My hair was a hot mess and my ends were putrid. I was devastated. My transitioning period was now officially over and I decided to big chop there and then.

After cutting the braids into a 'Bob'

 Every single strand that appeared to be relaxed was cut off and I was left with a kinky TWA (teeny weeny afro) that I needed to come to very serious grips with. I felt very ugly and so unfeminine.

Some natural hair blogs say that as your relaxer grows out you're left with scab hair - hair that's rough and tough, very dry and unmanageable (possibly for applying relaxer directly onto the scalp which is absorbed into the skin) for awhile before your 'real' hair starts showing.


With that in mind, I decided there is no way the hair I was seeing was my real natural hair but rather scab hair and therefore I thought: well then you must go too!

My dad took me to his barber for a 'number three'.  A 'zero' is when the scalp is completely clean-shaven.
It felt surreal seeing my cotton-wool-like locks drop to the floor but also strangely liberating and exhilarating.

As I gazed at my now 'open' face in the mirror. I felt proud and pretty and strong. And I thought to myself: 'I'm going to rock this shit!'

And so far I have! I love my hair. I love how soft it feels thought it might now look like it. I adore it's thickness! I love how how my curl pattern varies from place to place on my head. I love how quickly it takes to 'do' my hair. I enjoy playing, twisting and touching my little knots and twists :)

I never thought the day would come, but I really love my hair!

Crazy how I had to cut it all off in order to realise that.