I think she gets it from me. I'm very determined and I like getting what I want - who doesn't? - but her dad is stubborn too. So of course our child would be doubly stubborn. Mycah-Mae is so intelligent and inquisitive yet manipulative too. She is an incredible, strong-willed toddler. She scares me sometimes. How she thinks and figures things out. Her fierce determination. Her unusual sense of humour. The fact that she is very sensitive. (She cries so easily. I feel so bad when I've made her sob once again after I've raised my voice after the third 'No'.)
How do I know if I'm parenting her properly? What If I'm really messing this up? How does a single mother correctly raise - if at all, if ever - a strong-willed child. A child that has attitude and spunk. That gives you a look that skriks vir niks. A child that screams blue murder when she can't get her way leaving you very, very red-faced in front of others who just don't understand. She leaves me dumbfounded a lot.
I often feel like the worst mother in the world. Its hard parenting her - a real human being with her own thoughts, fears, wants and desires. I'm responsible for how she will turn out. And it all starts now. Moulding her. Guiding her. Correcting, loving, reprimanding, teaching her manners. I don't like spanking her for every little thing but reasoning with her often doesn't work. Ditto for time-outs. I get the feeling that she thinks I'm abandoning her.
I get that she will test her and my boundaries but she is just so small. Still a baby. My baby. And shame she is still learning to talk so of course she struggles with expressing herself leaving us lost in translation.
But still I
