Yesterday was 8 months to the day when I gave birth to my little one.
Ask any parent and (most) will tell you: Having a child was the best decision they have ever made.
Yes, sometimes it is incredibly hard.
Yes, sometimes you feel like banging your head in frustration.
Yes, sometimes you miss the days of having no responsibility but on most days you feel this lovely warm feeling filter throughout your whole being and simply feel incredibly proud to be the parent of a ‘uit-ge-knip-sy-ma’.
And then you get days when you simply drained of all you energy and having a little one is so overwhelming.
Like this weekend past.
Since going back to work, I haven’t had the privilege of breastfeeding her on demand anymore. She feeds all evening and in the morning. My body has had to simply adjust to this routine – no questions asks – and so of course it didn’t and I got a brush with Mastitis – the painful rite of passage into motherhood.
It is very unpleasant. It can be best described as feeling like you coming down with flu but with the added pleasure of rigors, fever and an extremely-sensitive-to-the-touch breast.
And that very evening, my baby was more demanding than she has ever been. I know that when infants teeth it can be very painful for them (and of course I understand that) but just this once I wanted her to shut up.
I was tired and completely gatvol.
I sat on my parents’ bed and cried like a baby. I felt very sorry for myself and although it didn’t achieve anything, it released some pent up stress I think.
In hindsight, I’m glad I just sat there staring into nothingness and crying – rather than taking my frustration out on her. But I came so very close to it. To think her first hiding would have been totally unjustified. (I shudder just thinking of this)
Thankfully I have the support of my parents and the next day my mom took me to Constantiaberg to see a doctor.
I don’t know what I would do without this blessing in my life.
To travel via public transport to doctor with a baby on my hip and sit in a waiting room is not cool. Not to mention the fees involved. Fees I simply can’t afford right now. Not on the budget I’m trying very hard to stick to.
I just wish one day I can duly repay them for all they’ve done for me.
